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The Chemo Fog Vanishes and Reveals What Was Always There

When that gray fog lifted, it was no longer impeding my thoughts, my sight nor my spirit.

I could finally digest all that has happened with a clearer head.

I knew the days were long. They had bled into one another and then into months. I sadly realized that it was a time that I could never retrieve, as they were blurred and gone.

I lost the moments of joy or deep sadness during this time, gone.

The memories of my children’s childhood that summer was weakened and faded by my own weakness, by my own sickness.

There were days without energy-I was completely depleted.

The trust I had in my body vanished. Where is my youthfulness? My hair? My skin?

What will be left?  I would ask myself, without wanting to know the answer. 

What shell of who I was will remain? Will I be empty?

No. A deafening NO!

There is a clangorous spirit from within-from the deep thundering soul, left without a shell.

A strength of unfathomable comprehension is left, she was steady and patient. She emerged from the gray fog, with such triumph.

I can almost feel her very presence and I was overcome and welcomed her. I acknowledge her. She promised to be unrelenting for all the days to come. She had been waiting the whole time for this moment.

My gratitude soars alongside her, like a companion.

The fog had lifted and revealed who had always been there.

 

 

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